During the the storms of life, there are two ways we can run. Away from our Father or into his loving arms. Perhaps we even throw a fit like our toddlers do. Having children has taught me so much about what God must feel like dealing with us!
I'm often reminiscent of my oldest son's time in the Hospital and recently looked back at our blog. Because I was listening, God entirely prepared me to have a little boy with brain cancer. I'm not sharing this story because I think I'm strong but because of my story, I've met other incredible women (and Dads) who have journeyed through even the loss of their child. We can't take pain out of this world, it's here to stay. What we can do is change how we navigate.
Here are a couple posts about my Little Iron Man, whom gave birth to Little Iron Mom:
Here's the Beef
This morning we were finally able to get some answers about what is going on with Josh’s tumor. We spoke with the head “brain” guy who is known to do the best work in the area on kids. I am not going to lie, this is scary. Josh’s tumor is huge. I now know why the trillion neurologists we have spoken with here are baffled at the fact that he walks and talks and has lived a normal life.
We are told that surgery will take place on either Tuesday or Thursday to remove the tumor. Some things we will find out from the surgery will be if the tumor is cancerous or not and the extent of its growth into the brain. If it has “fingered” as the surgeon put it into the brain more than pictured on the scan it would make the treatment to follow a little bit harder.
Other risks also apply since it is in such a sensitive area he would have a 15 to 20% chance of loosing his speech ability. Generally this is only temporary but can last up to 6 months or so. I was actually surprised that this seemed to be the biggest complication he mentioned besides the obvious ones.
The other good thing that came out of this meeting was that this is not a fast growing tumor. Josh has had this thing his whole life. When he was one he would tip his head to the right all the time. I was told that this was how he was trying to correct or even push his brain into his neck because there is no room in there with that tumor! Long story short he has had this thing forever.
Luckily I do feel that God has prepared me to endure this situation. Last fall I photographed a family whose son also had a brain tumor. I think when you are a Mom you always look at others with these stories and think, “I could never do that” or “I don’t know what I would do.” However, I remember watching this family and thinking, “This will happen to me.” I don’t know why, but I was obsessed with their story. I was overcome by it. God was preparing me for what I was about to go through. To this day I can’t explain why I never had the normal Mom thoughts. The thoughts I had told me I would be here in Iowa City with my sick little boy writing this to you. God has a purpose and we know he is good! Thank you all so much for your prayers!!
A Rough Night...
I ran to Cedar Falls for some things yesterday and when I returned everything was in place for the surgery this morning. He goes in at 7:45 and will be in for approximately 6 hours. His surgeons name is Dr. Menezes and he is supposedly the best of the best!
The last 12 hours have been tough. When I got back they had been giving him suppositories trying to make him go number 2…poor guy. All the IV drugs stop him up I guess. That ended up being a bit of an ordeal to say the least and in the end he was "pooped".
At 9:30 he had to go down and have another MRI of his spine. They are just checking for any other spots before surgery. We are not expecting anything to show up on this scan but it is just standard for them to do it before they operate. I was just annoyed they waited till an hour after bed time the night before surgery?!?
All the while he had been having a bit of an irregular heart beat that was being caused by his PICC line being in too far. So this lead to an additional X-ray and other tests to figure out what was going on. Finally at one in the morning, they had to move his PICC line 2 cm or so which involved taking all that tape off his arm. Now keep in mind, none of this was that painful…yet. They had to put on the masks and look all scary in the middle of the night and Josh just freaked out! When they went to clean it with alcohol it burned and he screamed bloody murder. It was horrible. I know my limits. I stepped back and laid on the floor so I would not pass out and my mom took over.
I would venture to say that no mom can handle their child's eyes holding that amount of pain. Obviously I have to wonder why does my son have to go through this?
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
I know God has a purpose in all of this. If God could give his only son, I trust that he has a plan for mine.
Good News!
I can’t say for sure but I think we may have struck gold. The surgeon said that he removed 95% of the tumor. Initially when he went in he was concerned because the tumor did “finger” out into the center of the brain where some of Josh’s function is generated. This normally only happens in the more cancerous types of tumors. He sent out a coupe of preliminary test on the tumor during the procedure that actually showed the tumor to be of a less cancerous type of tumor. Again this is all preliminary and we are to get more information later.
Josh is just getting settled back into is room now and will stay partially sedated and on a respirator for the next day or so. This is a standard procedure to help with the swelling in his brain. In the next couple of days we will know more about the course of action as far as further treatment for the remaining tumor if any. We feel blessed with this news and continue to pray that little Iron Man will keep all his super powers!!
PS--I heard he was talking the operating room's ears off after we dropped him off this morning...including telling the surgeon,"hey, i know you! But there are two of you. I want you to go away!" Of course he was on the anesthesia!
Joshua's situation certainly was a miracle and a very scary time. A very human reaction is to panic. It reminds me so much of the story of when Jesus Calms the Storm.
Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!”
Matthew 8:23-27 NIV
http://bible.com/111/mat.8.23-
God calls us to him through life's trials, struggles and pain. The question is, how will you answer?
Hugs from LIM! ~Karen
2 Comments
Jul 7, 2017, 1:29:17 PM
Lew Everling - Amen sista! We felt those prayers and miracles did happen!
Jul 7, 2017, 8:05:39 AM
Kelly - I remember this time, and how most of the churches in our area were lifting your whole family up in prayer. Josh is a miracle, and we serve an amazing God.